Sunday, December 14, 2008

Gettin my spank on

My husband Rad and I attended a spanking party last night run by the Manhattan Spanking Association, a group that describes itself as "an accepting, non-judgmental group for those who share an interest in spanking," which, as far as I could tell, means that we're mainly into spanking but a lot of us like other play, too. And which further means that no one cared that I went topless for a very nice flogging from Rad.

Last week I played pretty hard, got nasty canings from Tony and Ian of Florida Moonshine, and a harsh strapping from Rad, and I didn't know I still would have marks a week later. I love my marks, love the mementos, but I have to go to the doctor this week and now I'm worried he will see them. That part of my anatomy will be exposed, unfortunately.

So, to make a long story short, I decided to top more than bottom at this party. I hadn't done this in a while because I hadn't been "in the right head space." I couldn't figure out HOW to get into the right head space, or why I was in the "wrong" head space, but I think I was being a little self-centered, wanting to get MY needs met as a bottom/submissive, and forgetting that I get OTHER needs met when I top.

Also, I was going through this phase where I thought I would be disappointing my bottoms. Can't say exactly where that came from. But I seem to be coming out of it, finally.

It's kind of a rush when a guy lets me take charge. They are all different, of course, but most of those who play are putting themselves under my control. I listen to what their limits are, their likes and dislikes, and then I begin and I assume authority. I don't ASK how they are doing; I spank them the way I want to spank them and I look at their reaction. I scold, and if they are bratty I take that as a cue to crank it up a notch. If they react a different way, and go "little boy/submissive" on me, I go into loving-but-strict mom mode.

I have a reasonably hard hand, and I'll spank for a while with just my hand unless I know up front the guy can take much more. This generally gives me a good feel for the bottom's tolerance. If he's squirming under just my hand I'll continue with just my hand for a while before escalating to something not-so-severe, like a leather paddle. But if he's barely reacting at all, I'll switch more quickly to another toy and eventually bring out a wooden paddle or the cane.

When I bottom, I enjoy being pushed beyond what I think I can take. I don't know if I always do this with the men I top (some are so stoic they are hard to read) but I try -- and I THINK most enjoy the challenge.


Triple D and me said...

Hi Sandy, I must tell you Triple D really like seeing you top sat. nite. he say's "you have some great technique" He said he learned somethings from you. Your flogging session was intense, and like you we love the fact that at these parties we can all feel free to be ourselves and enjoy each others company. We had a great time met some very nice people, and got alot of play. the night just ended to fast. Looking forward to seeing you and Rad at the next party. Triple D and me

Ms. Cassandra (Sandy) Park said...

Thanks, "me"! I appreciate the nice words. I did have fun, although it was too tight in there. When I was in the side rooms I had to keep thinking about the clock, to not hog the space. Was glad I was able to play some. Next time I see you guys I should be ready to play as usual.