This weekend I'm visiting friends in Md., our good friends J. and D., and their three kids. Like me, D. is a writer, and as it nears the end of October once again the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is upon us. This happens in November, and is a challenge to write a 50,000-word novel in one month. I know, that sounds formidable, but it comes down to about three typed pages per day.
In the past week, that's become my goal -- three typed pages per day. A certain "conversation" last Saturday with a certain NYtop has inspired me ... I had not been writing, and I had no real excuse.
When D. reminded me of NaNoWriMo, I got a little surge of excitement and ambition. "I can do it this month!" I thought. "I can!" There's a kick-off party/lunch tomorrow that I'm attending (D. is the host). I did this challenge once before, in 2006. I don't think there is much that can be salvaged from that attempt, but I did write, I had a story, and I reached 50,000 words.
"Try" is an awful word. My dilemma is a huge surge of negativity that wants me to give up before I've even begun. The stories that come to mind the easiest are spanking or S&M stories -- mostly kinky, dark stories -- sometimes a lesbian fantasy -- have come out every day this week except Monday, and my vanilla writing that day was boring the shit out of me.
As opposed to using that bad word "try" I think I can commit to a promise that I'll write every day. I must first meditate for 10, 15 minutes to push that negative energy down and replace it with positive energy. Then to accept the following about myself: 1) I do have a story to tell. 2) What seems boring and too like real-life tediousness may be intriguing to someone else. 3) it's okay to write a spanking, BDSM, lesbian/bi/gay novel if that's what comes out. I will strive to make it different from other things I've read.
My ultimate goal is to be published, I suppos. Sometimes it's hard to write because I begin to imagine the critics who will be reading and judging my story. Not a legitimate reason for not writing. Criticism and/or praise comes later. This is just between me and the computer, for now.