Again, the self-doubt? Again, the avoidance? I'm blogging right now because I don't care to face the fiction piece I started two days ago. It was a hot fantasy when I started. Self-critic now stands on my shoulder taunting me: That's stupid. That's a cliché.
(Distraction: Why does my dictionary not recognize "cliche" without an accent? How do I insert an accented word into my blog? Fail. Cut and paste instead. What IS that accent mark called? 10-minutes search -- it's called an "accent mark," apparently.)
The critic is now mocking me because I'm wasting time. OK. Focus. What is the topic of this blog? Telling the story. Getting the words onto the page and editing later. I promise to finish the fantasy today. If not this morning, then later on the bus back to New York.
Side note: my friends used some bizarre hard-wood "goat-herding" stick, a gift they'd gotten from someone who'd gone to Kenya, to whack me last night. It was about a foot and a half, maybe two feet at most, thicker than a cane, with a round wooden knob on one end. If I can get a picture I'll add it later.
(Distraction -- 10-minute online search for Kenyan goat-herding stick picture: FAIL. Did find THIS interesting phrase during my search: "If words are not enough, she simply takes the herding stick and treats you like a dog!" from a blog called "Happy Heeler." Strange.)
OK, so where was I. Oh yes, I was being "beaten" by this awesome thuddy toy (as well as spanked) last night and went to bed a happy girl. Sometimes I do NOT need discipline. Sometimes I just need a little pain, a little TLC, all leading to that warm fuzzy feeling.
But warm fuzzy time is over now and I must hunker down and work. Where is that goat-herding stick? Time to beat my self-critic until she shuts the f*** up already. Oh, and time to shut down my distractor as well.
Bonus: tasty treat from The Daily Toast. http://spankysdailytoast.blogspot.com/2009/10/handcuffs-n-buns.html