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Thursday, October 22, 2009

"Other" pain

I've been having a weird experience lately with pain that's not kink-related -- the pain that's not supposed to be "good pain," such as needles at the doctor's office or dental work. I used to think that this was completely different from the pain I accepted during an intense scene.

But now I'm sometimes reacting differently. This all started when I got my tattoo recently. I don't do needle play; it's never been my kink. But I wanted a tattoo so I figured I'd just grit my teeth and deal with the pain somehow. I NEVER expected to get high off it the way I did. My friend actually asked me if I was OK to drive.

This week I had to get allergy tests, where they stick about 25 different allergens just under the skin of both upper arms. They all hurt, not to an excruciating degree but enough. Again, I just wanted to witness and process that pain instead of turning away.

I also wonder if I'm developing some weird medical fetish wherein the doctor, the "medical authority," becomes simply "authority" ... AKA "dom."

At times when I've had a hard time with medical or dental pain, I've imagined my dom standing in the doorway watching me and telling me to be good... It serves as a distraction for a little while. But the idea of the doctors and nurses themselves being the doms is more exciting.

2 comments:

Casey Morgan said...

Yeah.
I'm not into other pain either, but sometimes letting myself think of it that way helps get through the experience. I am always faintly aroused at the allergy doctor dynamic. You have to get these shots and be stoical about them. M. always used to paint elaborate mental pictures of what happpens when little girls don't take their allergy shots like they should...doctors, slippers, embarrassment in the waiting room...

Marie said...

When I got my tattoo with a scene friend, within minutes she was flying and I was answering the artist for her. He asked why she couldn't talk for herself and I said "Oh she's gone to her happy place" - for me, it wasn't like that, it just *hurt*.

But at the doctor, I think the reason growing up I was so terrified of shots was because perhaps I was afraid I'd like it? I am not into needle play and I don't enjoy getting stuck, but it's brief, and I have to be still and let the doctor be in charge - and that's what I like.