Thursday, October 1, 2009

Out sick

Picture has nothing to do with blog. I just love Johnny Depp in those glasses.

I took a sick day today. I rarely do this, and I've got lots of days available that I could use before the end of the year. We just finished sending the magazine to press, and I'm ahead with the next issue, so it was actually the perfect day to call out.

I am not going to go crazy, either, "using the day to catch up on errands." We DO need laundry done, and the cat litter changed, but that might be it. A walk, perhaps?. See comment below on weight issues.

On a side note, I continue to be depressed. For starters, about the state of our apartment. I need a maid, a decorator, a professional organizer, a backhoe ... I do my best at tossing junk mail as soon as it arrives. The charities that I've committed to keep sending more and more mail. I save these because I want to give, but I can't send a checks before I check and see how much I've already given this year, which is another project I can't get to right now, and so this goes on the stack of "later."

I've got four movie passes in an envelope ... somewhere on my desk; in a bag; in a drawer ... damned if I know! I hope they appear soon. I want to go to the movies and I've already paid.

I have to call my shrink and schedule an appointment to renew a prescription. I've been putting this off for ages because I'm nervous around him and ... not that I don't trust him, but I always get the feeling with shrinks that they don't delve deeply enough into the issues before prescribing. Based on my own experience, I definitely need my primary medication (anti-depressant) but I remain uncertain about ADD meds. I want to ask him for a more thorough diagnosis. I have a book here with a test, which I will take ... soon. Another item on the "later" stack.

Oh, yes. I'm also depressed because I've gained five pounds. How is this possible? I'm declaring myself off-diet today. I think I will stop logging my food for one month, eat whatever I think I need to eat, and see how that works at the end of the month. I'm very angry with my body right now. It won't do as it's told.


Anonymous said...

Everyone needs a "mental health" day or break every once in a while. I'm glad you took one.

As for the weight, there are a zillion reasons why you can put on weight despite doing everything "right." I had a meal out that had too much sodium (though was calorically and otherwise fine) and picked up 2.5lbs. Most of it is gone, but sheesh. Others have "TOM" or time of the month bloating. Your body sometimes needs a break, or even more calories, to know you are not starving it - then it will go back to being willing to drop weight.

I've managed to stump a nutritionist and two fitness trainers with my miniscule losses and roller coaster plateaus. I have an appt with an endocrinologist in a month (soonest I could get one) to get testing and help. I work out a ton and eat as well as possible, and while my bloodwork in the past has been fine, things can change.

Take a break but then get back on track. Change calories for a week or two then go back. I've found that saving starchy carbs for later in the day, and sticking to carbs from fruits, veggies, and dairy early on means I don't get snack cravings later on.



Ms. Cassandra (Sandy) Park said...

Hey, Dolly! Yes, I like your advice. I went to a party yesterday so I ate a bit (way too much chocolate temptations) but I'll be back on track tomorrow. I'm not logging food, though. I'm just going to eat healthy. And work out.

Ms. Cassandra (Sandy) Park said...

Oh, and good luck with your appt. I hope you find an answer!

Gwen said...

I so relate to everything you said (except being nervous around my psychiatrist -- she does delve into issues), and I/we continue to be uncertain as to whether ADD meds will be more of a help or more of a potential problem. I have enough problems, and yes, I'm still depressed despite being on not one, but two antidepressants. The weight issue -- OMG, WTF!?! I've stopped weighing myself.

On the up side, I just got an email saying that there will be spanking munches every third Saturday at a nice place in San Francisco, so maybe I can stop bitching about the lack of scene here. I'm pretty busy next weekend, but I'm going to do my best to go. Now, all I have to do is convince John that it is a worthwhile occupation. He actually spanked me the other day, another up :-)

Keep your spirits up!
Gwendana (aka, Dana, aka Gwen)