Butterflies

I think about it and I push the thoughts back down. It scares me. And I don't have time to be scared -- I have too much else to deal with now to allow myself the "luxury" of a fantasy. But if all goes as planned, the fantasy will become reality on Friday evening, at the Strictly Spanking New York party.

My friend Scott says he will be punishing me with his wife Miranda's "Family Strap." This pernicious plaything is becoming legendary among our crowd. Check out Richard Windsor's recent interview with Miranda.

Scott already gave me a good dose of the Family Strap at the last Shadow Lane party. It is one of the nastier straps I've felt over the years. Last time I saw Scott, I was still recovering from surgery; I was able to play, but not that hard. So now I'm fully recovered, we're about to meet again, and he promises intensity.

He's made a special request that he and I play before I play with anyone else -- he says for the punishment to be "proper" it needs to be on a "cold, white, unmarked bottom." Yikes! Beyond that, he's not going to give me much warning. He's going to let me say hello to people for a certain time period, then will simply walk over, take me by the hand and tell me to come with him. Double yikes!

This is all well and good, writing about this from the safety of my desk. But I know the fear will intensify quickly once it all begins. I sometimes actually feel my skin go cold just before we start. There's the preliminary lecture (you dare not make a flippant comment then!) and then the skirt goes up or the pants go down.

I WISH I could lie across a bench or a bed because it's an easier position to maintain. But the party space may not offer that option. I'll likely be bent over with my hands or elbows on a chair. I'll be a brave little girl up to this point. When it begins, I hope I don't immediately start begging for forgiveness.

I'm really just a fragile flower, you know? A delicate lily who must be handled with care ... (I think I hear Rad snickering.)

I can't do this kind of play very often, and I have to be selective in my play partners. Scott not only knows what he's doing, but has that no-nonsense attitude I look for. And he's all business, nothing sexual or romantic.

Not that this doesn't turn me on IN THEORY. I knew I shouldn't have started to think about it. Okay, Sandy. Stop that! It's a work day! Get to work...