Sunday, February 8, 2009

Pulled in many directions

I got up pretty early and I feel tired. It's so hard to sleep when a fat orange kitty is pounding on the bedroom door demanding attention. I'll probably slip back into bed soon.

Last two nights were fun but exhausting. It seemed impossible to hold a conversation with a friend. Lots of people wanting to say hello, wanting my attention. I have to be nice to all, as best I can, but it's hard to establish a meaningful connection or rapport in that atmosphere. At some point during the party I should have found a dark corner to hide for a little while, to regroup.

Scott did, indeed, deliver the fifty strokes with the Family Strap, and it was very hard to accept. When he swung it for the first time, I was shocked by how solid it felt striking my bottom. I got very scared and honestly didn't think I could go through with it. I said, in a very quiet voice, "Do I really HAVE TO, Sir?"

With a no-nonsense tone in his voice, Scott said I had no choice (of course I have a choice, I always have a "choice"). But he was "nice" and did the fifty strokes in installments -- five or ten at a time, with little breathers in between.

I was pretty fried after he was done. I'm not kidding when I say it was one of the harder scenes I've done recently. I needed to be punished for some negative feelings I've been having and don't want to have anymore. Working very hard not to return to those.

As far as others at the party, I hate having to say no to people. I hope they understand. I topped my friend G., then G.'s female friend, whose initial is also G. She had expressed an interest in my spanking her. She was very cute and I had a fun time, but later found out she could have taken it a lot harder. Will have to have a do-over next time we meet.

Paul and I only got to play a little on Friday night. He was busy dealing with another bad girl (who shall remain nameless) who needed it more than I! Last night at Paddles he did give me a hard strapping to make up for Friday night. So, I am still sore and feeling good.


Anonymous said...

In the end, it sounds like you got exactly what you needed, and had a good time both nights. The fact that you can make known what you need and get it is a valuable thing. As for having to say no, hey, there will be other times. -Dolly

Ms. Cassandra (Sandy) Park said...

I am sort of drained, actually, even days later. Wondering what exactly I am doing, half the time.