Thursday, February 12, 2009
What IS this horror?
NOOOOOOOOOO! Make it STOP!!!!!
Both bosses are out today. I plan to have a very productive day getting caught up on internet work, research, and lots and lots of reading. Yesterday I was antsy and anxious, craving junk food. I gave in to one indulgence -- raisins and almonds, which added calories but were reasonably healthy. I was craving food almost all day, even after I'd eaten a big-enough lunch that left me physically satisfied. I kept having to force myself to say no, while carrying on constant debates with my "lower" self.
"I'll get something from the machine downstairs." "No, later." "Now?" "No, you can wait." I made it to 5, 6, 6:20 p.m., when I finally left work. More debates. Still arguing about getting something from the junk machine downstairs before leaving work. Then the newstand on 116th, near where I get onto the 1 train. THEN the newstand on 42nd, which I pass when I walk the block from the train to my bus stop. I approach the booth ... no, yes, no, yes. The lady with the microphone who always sits there preaching about Jesus, abortion, and hell makes me want to walk even faster, and I pass the newstand, make it to the bus stop, where there are no more temptations. The bus pulls up just about a minute later, and I'm thinking I might have missed it had I stopped for a snack. A nice little reward...
But I'd been thinking this crazy thought that I was so hungry I HAD to eat something, that I could not wait the hour it would take me to get home. I had to shift those gears and tell myself, "I WILL be okay. It's only an hour. I can make it!" Of course I can make it, let's not be ridiculous.
We recently bought a new, larger slow cooker with a lift-out, washable interior. Rad had christened it the night before last with a large pork roast, with potatoes and onions and seasoned with rosemary and thyme. We woke up to that aroma yesterday morning, and maybe THAT was why I was craving food all day long! Of course it was waiting for me at home. Mm mm mm. We ate the roast with a side of fresh sliced tomatoes with just a little salt. It was so worth the wait.
I did not have time to walk or exercise yesterday, however, because I met a friend for lunch. I'm hoping to make up for it today with a little run on the treadmill. And I'm NOT going to eat the cookies (above) that some evil person left in the kitchen at work this morning. Happy Valentine's Day? Ha!
I started off the week feeling anxious and guilty about not meeting a deadline for a new project I'm working on. I am still feeling my way on it, with little guidance from above. But I feel amazingly good about it today. I did a shitload of research yesterday, tons of reading, and I have lots of ideas. It's going to be good. I'm going to have fun with it. My job allows me a good amount of creativity, which I love.