And tonight, we play! I was exhausted last night. Got out of work late again and Rad and I didn't eat dinner until after 8. Some of the folks coming in from out of town for the SSNY party were hooking up last night. I wanted to go but couldn't do it. No energy. I was in bed before 11 -- unusual for a Friday night.
It will be a great party and I can't wait to see the out-of-town people again, including some folks from Florida Moonshine. And there will be lots of playing and good conversation and good food.
But on top of that (and I think I mentioned this earlier), Scott (of Scott and Miranda) will be punishing me with The Family Strap. God, I hate that thing. For someone who loves straps like I do, that is simply one of the nastiest. But he agreed to monitor my diet and exercise plan, and I had one slip-up two weeks ago, so I'm getting it with the strap tonight. Our agreement was 10 strokes for each slip-up, so I'm VERY happy that I only had one over the last three weeks. This week and last were rough. I had several days where I worked through lunch and didn't get out to walk. I had to make up for that when I got home, and it's not as easy at home. But the threat of the strap was real and I did what I needed to do. And as far as dieting goes, Easter week was rough -- I did eat more than I planned at the family dinner -- but I was happy to see that my calories-per-day average for the week was still under my limit.
There is the perennial debate, "Is it REALLY punishment if the bottom is getting what she needs and desires?" My answer is yes, if while you're going through it all you're thinking is that you wish it would stop. Does the fact that I fantasize about it later cancel that out? Hard to say. When I fantasize about it, I am not the yelping, writhing mess I tend to be when I'm going through it. How easily we forget the pain. Or, we THINK we remember the pain -- until we feel it again for real and then it's, "Oh, shit!"
On top of the 10 punishment strokes, Scott says I will be getting more discipline "just because." He's going to use another strap and a cane. Again, I am craving it; I need the stress relieve; I need to let go and have someone else do evil things to me. I should say that I also need a good cry, but that doesn't always happen.