I am writing, privately, most days. Have not been 100% perfect on THAT New Year's resolution, though I'm doing my best. Rad and I went through a personal loss this week, and we didn't really want to talk about it on our blogs or the news groups we belong to, so I've kept a lot of stuff inside. I'm kind of tired and emotional, and Rad is also not up for a big event, so we are not going to the Philly party tonight after all (Delaware Valley Spanks).
I was planning on getting a serious thrashing from Scott (of Scott and Miranda), infamous for the use of their "family strap" -- a real, very nasty strap that Miranda's mom used when she was growing up. I felt it for the first time at the last Shadow Lane party, then got a touch of it when we were at the Strictly Spanking NY party. I was still in my recovery phase then so I wasn't playing too hard. THIS weekend was supposed to be when I would REALLY get it, a thought that both scared and thrilled me.
Part of me really, really craves it. It often helps me, when I'm stressed or depressed, to get a good beating. On the other hand, when dealing with those emotions, I can't always get into the right head space to be submissive and take the harder punishment, as much as I may "need" it.