Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Gray with spots of blue
Woke up to a cloudy day but as things are progressing it looks like it may be nice after all. I'll emerge from the cocoon of the apartment shortly. I called in sick, having a bit of a minor (I hope!) stomach virus. I lay down on the couch for an extra half hour of sleep. Buster kitty was on my stomach where he should be, and the combination of physical warmth and "psychological" comfort helped me feel a bit better. Then I finally arose to make the call to the office.
I hate making that call. No matter if I'm taking the day for some other reason, needing a mental health day, sick, or REALLY sick, there's always this fear inside that says, "They won't believe me." Some days the fear is reasonable because I'm not really sick. I try not to say, then, that I'm sick. I'll say, "I'm not feeling well and I've made an appointment." If I have something planned, that covers the "appointment" part of that statement. And "I'm not feeling well" ... well, there's always my constant sinus issues, or runny nose, or mental anxiety, or stress, or ...
I posit anyone, anywhere, can call in sick and not tell a lie!
I actually tend to feel MORE guilty when I'm actually sick. Tell me how THAT makes any sense. My coworkers, even my boss, told me to use my sick days because if I don't I will lose them. I didn't use them all last year, that's just the way I am, I need to get stuff done and if I don't feel like someone can step in and do it, I'll try to be at the office even when I'm sick. Hopefully, as I approach my three-year anniversary on this job, I'll feel more relaxed and can take a break when necessary. Today was a "good day" to cash in a sick day -- we weren't that busy at the office.
Now, I'm either going to finish a few more pages of writing OR I'll update the news section on my website OR I'll go lie down and get more rest. Update, write, then rest? Write, update, rest ... pick up the book I'm trying to finish ... ? No!