Weary

Not much of a blog today. I feel a bit sad and worn down as the week comes to a close. I was listening to Joe Strummer earlier on my i-Pod, which helped my mood, but I've been listening to ANYTHING on my i-Pod these days just to tune out the world. There's nothing else I can do. I can't STOP other people's bad behavior. But in most cases I don't have to listen to it; sit there and stew.

There were a couple of guys talking trash to a woman on the downtown 1 train Wednesday, after I left work. I couldn't tell if she welcomed their attention or if she was frozen with fear. They certainly didn't seem like nice guys. They were over the top loud, spewing foul, occasionally misogynistic language (by this I mean very disgusting graphic sexual talk about what they'd do to her or some other woman -- this is a come-on?). They were shouting. The very next stop, I got up and moved to the next car. They frightened me. They were way too close, and acting way too crazy.

On the QM1A the bus driver got belligerent with me. I had politely requested he turn down his radio, which I could hear all the way in the back of the bus. He coldly said, "No. I don't want to." I was shocked. He started ranting that he didn't need to let me on his bus. I did get mad back and some words were exchanged wherein he accused me of giving him an attitude. I calmed down as much as possible, wrote his name and bus number down, and today I put in a complaint about him. It's one thing to put up with rude fellow commuters, but a nasty driver who's a bully? Turns out he was on break (so why was he letting people on the bus? And why didn't he say, "Sorry, I'm on a little break, I'll turn it down when we get moving.")

I hate NY right now. I KNOW I need to work on acceptance, and I am doing MUCH better. I have to pick my battles better. I simply thought I was making a legitimate request to someone reasonable, never expected him to fly off the handle at me.

Tomorrow we're going to a family wedding in Connecticut. No one in my f'ing conservative clan better say a word about politics. I might blow. Okay, I promise to try not to.