I mentioned yesterday that I played with J. (of J. and L.), and that L. was watching while we played on Saturday night. I had been watching them play earlier, because he's a hard player and they're fun to watch.
I think she can take it harder than me, but L. doesn't seem submissive to me. Maybe that's not something she displays much in public, or maybe she's simply not submissive. I tend to get submissive during some scenes, especially, of course, during harder scenes. I'll say, "Yes, Sir," and "No, Sir."
I might brat SOME, but if the dom takes the bait (as J. did on Saturday) and ramps it up a few notches, I'll go back to submitting. That strapping he gave me REALLY hurt. I tried to focus on my breathing and take the pain, but it was hard. He finally got me to the point where I felt like I couldn't take much more. In a submissive head space, I have a hard time asking a dom to stop. Instead, I'll usually start to babble, "I'll be good ... I'll be good ... I'll be good!"
The dom can then begin to wrap things up (he may tell me I have to take ten or twenty final strokes), OR he may choose to get really mean and say, "Oh, I KNOW you'll be good -- but we're not done yet, Young Lady."
I talked to L. afterward. She had commented that she couldn't "take" a flogging (J. had been using his flogger on my bottom pretty harshly), and that the strapping that followed looked very severe. (I thought what I'd seen HER take looked harder). But I told her it WAS hard, and that I'd finally had to tell J. "I'll be good." She said she never says that. She just turns around and says, "Okay! That's enough!"
It's funny how one bottom can take the same amount of pain that I do, maybe even more, but remains in control and simply decides when to stop. Oh, yes, I'll end a scene if it's going wrong. Or I'll push a top to go harder, if I need it. But in general, I don't like to be the one deciding when the scene ends.