Sunday, May 23, 2010

Shifting

Sandy in LA 112109 7
I can't seem to get a handle on my feelings about bottoming these days. It's left me feeling unsatisfied except with a few, select tops. And because I don't play with those tops that often, it's really hard to accept the pain when I DO.
I guess it's always hard to accept the pain. But it's not as much of a shock when you do it more often. And it's also easier to accept when someone's in an agreed-upon authoritative role over you, AKA, your dom.
For me there are one or two tops who step into that role when I see them, but who don't accept that role in between, so I find myself feeling ignored and resentful. "I don't have a commitment with this guy; why am I taking so much punishment?" The answer (of course, for those of you who know me) is that I need it, must have it, need that release -- but it still leaves me, in between times, floating and unfulfilled.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Boy do I know that feeling.

Ms. Cassandra (Sandy) Park said...

The flip side of ADS (Almighty Dom Syndrome) may be DDS -- Disappearing Dom Syndrome.

Anonymous said...

Hear here.

Ms. Cassandra (Sandy) Park said...

Glad I'm not the only one ...

Dev said...

That feeling of being unsatisfied can be the worse than feeling alone.

Dev[r]

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