Sunday, February 14, 2010

He's not crazy today, just very sick

All I can say right now is I don't know how much longer my Rocky has. Not trying to be maudlin, but he's got serious kidney issues and diabetes, and now we're hearing about a heart murmur, which could be affected when they try to treat him for the kidney problems. Less than a year ago, my "big fat orange kitty" weighed 22 pounds. Now he's down to 11 pounds! All our jokes about him needing to lose weight seem sick and bitter right now. I liked him big. I want my big fat kitty.

Rocky turned 16 years old this Tuesday (Feb. 9). Buster, his older "brother," is going to be 17 in another month or two. I've had both since they were old enough to leave their mothers. They've been with me when I moved to Wyoming, to Florida, to various apartments in NJ, to Brooklyn when I first came to NY, and then finally to Queens.

They've been there to comfort me through relationship problems, many lonely lonely nights, and all the happy times, too. I like nothing better to get up in the morning, fix my coffee and sit on the couch with Rocky at my right and Buster on top of me -- "cuddle time," I call it.

I have no children -- these are my kids. As I expressed on Twitter a while ago, I don't feel much right now. I can't get emotional at the moment, because I'm the one who has to make decisions about his care (and whether or not to continue to try to treat something that may not be treatable). I have never gone through this before, I don't quite know HOW to go through it, but I guess this is part of loving someone or something. You eventually have to let them go.

I still have Buster. Those two got along great. You would always catch them cuddling together. Sometimes Buster would climb on top of Rocky and try to have gay kitty sex, but it never quite worked since they were both neutered. It was funny to watch, though. I don't know what kitties really feel, but I sense that Buster's wondering where Rocky is right now.

Soon, I will be back to writing more "normal" stuff. I had to talk about this a little bit.


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to read this, Sandy. Losing a pet is really hard - they are family. I hope all goes well with you and your kitties. They need your love and I know their love for you has been special. Hugs, my friend. -Dolly

Ms. Cassandra (Sandy) Park said...

Dolly, thanks. We made the decision about two hours ago to put him to sleep. They had tried to treat his kidney issues and he wasn't responding. It was hard.

carolynn said...

I'm so sorry. Those words just seem so minimal though. I had a pair much like yours, named Rocky and Blue. I lost them both within seven months of each other (2005). While I have other pets, they will forever be special in my heart. I keep a picture of them on my desk even now. I found this site to be comforting:
~ carolynn

Jean said...

We had a cat that was little over 23 when she passed in January. SHe's missed dearly. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry about the loss of Rocky.
Lost a heroic battle some years ago with a favorite calico to diabetes. So I understand your loss.
harry g.