Yesterday, Sunday, I got to indulge my other side. My friend D. from Philadelphia, a disciplinarian with whom I've played many times over the years, was giving me some website/computer advice -- I was paying him for a consultation.
He decided to throw in a "freebie" and whip my ass as well. I still don't quite understand what that had to do with my website ... or maybe he was simply supplying me with "fresh content."
Anyway, he seemed to think I needed it, for some odd reason. (Why would anyone ever get that impression from me?) He had a bunch of long wooden dowels and used them to cane me until each of them broke. Then he used a nasty thick riding crop that felt more like a paddle (used fast and furiously -- he had me sobbing). Finally, he used the FCT, also known as the "F***ing Cat Toy."
I have written of this item from hell before. It is a polyurethane "cat toy" that's worse than a cane - and never breaks. (Looks kind of like this:
When you click on the Petco product page, there's an interesting description: "... perfect for mental and physical stimulation--it keeps them alert, agile and healthy ..." How did they know?
After all these years, the FCT still has the fuzzy mouse dangling off the end. And after D. finished thrashing me, while I was very gingerly pulling up my pants, he had the nerve to go out in the hall and tease his cat with it! That's just wrong on so many levels.
I am sitting very tenderly today, but I'm in a good head space. Now, I must go get some errands done before I completely waste this nice day off.
2 comments:
I can't imagine how it still has its mouse attached!
Gwen/dana
Maybe he's retied it over the years. But he's had it ever since I met him six years ago... he wraps the mouse part around the handle as he uses it. Sick f*** !
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