School days

The Florida Moonshine Academy was this morning, and it was the first time I'd attended. I might have mentioned that the authentic school uniform Emily had loaned me looked very much like the real uniform jumper I wore in grade school, even in the same Kelly green.

Imagine 20 girls in three rows, behaving somewhat properly at first but then degenerating into gum-chewing, paper-plane throwing, wise-ass hooligans before class was dismissed. Somehow, there was something about the two headmasters that created chaos, the exact opposite of the order they were hoping to maintain. The punishments were painful but brief -- mostly the cane, Tony's paddle, or Ian's slipper, which is nasty.

I was up front waiting for my report card to be reviewed while Jules was having hers reviewed first. One of the girls near the front (now, I am NOT going to drag my sister under the bus) signaled to me. She whispered, "The slipper! Ian's slipper! Grab it on your way back." I looked for an opening and when I didn't think the headmasters were looking I made a low toss over to the instigator. Wasn't sure what happened to the slipper after that, but it later worked its way to the back row (where a lot of us troublemakers had planted ourselves) and somehow ended up on Kay's left foot. Strange how those things happen.

This was the scariest moment of the academy. Ian discovered his slipper missing, called for order and addressed the class. He said at the count of 10, if no one would reveal where his slipper was, he was going to start at the back, work his way down the row, down the next row, and cane us to tears until the slipper was found or someone owned up. The usual class calls of "Why does the whole class have to get punished?" and, "Come on, this isn't fair!" began. But Ian began to count.

Maria was sitting at the end of the last row and would be the first. I would be the second, Jules the third. Kay was next to Jules. She whispered to the three of us, "Do you want me to confess, or can you take the caning?" Maria and I both said we would take the caning. Jules declined, and Kay said to Jules, "Okay, you give me up when it gets to you." But as Ian neared number "1", Jules changed her mind for all of us, jumped up and said, "It's on Kay's foot!"

Kay protested, called Jules a rat, etc. -- the usual -- and was called to the front for her punishment. I KNOW Ian could probably make me cry, and I'm not always sure I WANT to reveal that vulnerability in front of audience, so I was glad for the reprieve -- in spite of my earlier bravery.

It was such fun. Everyone was smiling at the end. I'm glad I attended.

Tonight is the banquet and the trivia contest. Rad says he's tired of the pressure and will be glad when it's over. Me, my competitive side always kicks in. I DO hate to lose. But we'll make it fun, for sure. Richard Windsor, Gary, and a few others are out for blood.